If Lost, Find Love
by Deer-of-Ginger
Summary: They go on double dates and instead of two couples, there are three sitting at the table.


If Lost, Find Love

Antonio and Lovina were the type of friends that always wanted more than what they had. Antonio, ever since he saw Lovina in middle school, when he was still short and awkward, face full of acne and braces and angst, was head over heels for the girl he knew would be the only one he would ever love in such a pure, adolescent way. Lovina grew accustomed to seeing him hag around her, eventually growing to see him as more than the annoying brat that professed his love every weekend in the hopes of scoring a date with her to the handsome young man that knew her better than her own younger brother did. They wanted more than the friendship that they settled for, more than just a hug that would last for almost too long, but it was never the right time if you asked either of them. Antonio would say that he knew she didn't like him because she knew how he felt, he made that more than clear when he was younger. Lovina didn't know if he still felt the same, wasn't bold enough to try and find out.

Antonio wasn't the only person that felt a pull towards Lovina however. Alfred, a sweet junior, was head over heels for a girl that ran hot one moment and cold the next, the only predictable move that she made was that she was always found at Antonio's side. He too longed for her, not just to hold hands at the theater or go to a restaurant with her to play footsie under the table, but to see her in her most vulnerable and to bare himself in the same way. Alfred wasn't afraid of what had been, he only thought of what could be. Lovina wasn't afraid of what had been and what might be, she only cared about a fire that could be put out. It wasn't the way she imagined it, but she knew that his hands wouldn't have the familiar callouses from gardening and playing guitar. She knew that his bedroom would be as familiar and his laughter wouldn't be as comforting and him smile would be bright but in a completely different way and that he wouldn't be the one that she really wanted to be with but that was okay. It was okay because Lovina knew that Alfred liked her because he told her so plainly, without any allusion or metaphor or time in-between saying it and asking it.

Antonio grew older, becoming a senior in high school and learning not just more about academics and where he would go to college but also about all of the girls that wanted to take the place of Lovina. They could never take the place of Lovina. She was never in that place to begin with, even though it hurt him so to say it. Every so often he would go on a date with a girl, take them to the movies or a dinner or a walk in the local park and then walk them to their doorstep and tell them how it was a wonderful evening, but he preferred if they just stayed friends. Antonio made very few friends that year. Lovina made even less. He kept going on dates and dates and dates until he gave up, seeing how happy Lovina was with her relationship and how unhappy he was with his lack of one. He settled, knowing that's all that it would ever be, for a sophomore named Jeanne, someone he had known since before high school. He knew her, knew that she was nothing like Lovina. He choose her on purpose. They would go on dates and walk around the school together and people stopped asking him about his girlfriend Lovina because Jeanne made it clear. Lovina wasn't his girlfriend.

They would go on double dates, since they were such good friends. They had to know that the other person was right for their best friend. It was a double date with three couples, Alfred and Lovina, Antonio and Jeanne, and Antonio and Lovina. They would hold hands while walking sometimes, but then Alfred would put his arm around Lovina's waist and pull her and Jeanne would wrap herself around Antonio's arm and pull and suddenly there would be a chasm between them again. Physical this time. Literal this time. Figuratively all the time.

When Antonio and Alfred would hang out alone, Alfred would do all the talking. He usually did, unless he really liked someone. He didn't really like Antonio. He would talk about how football practice was going and how he was fighting with his older brother and how this girl kept trying to ask him out but didn't she know that he was, like, with Lovina and totally off limits, like she was hot and all, but come one! And he would talk about Lovina and how they were maybe thinking about going to third base or how that was or how she was when she was a little drunk after that party a few weeks ago, you saw her there man, right? Or how she was when they finally slept together. Alfred masked this as guy talk, but Antonio knew he was marking her. Making sure that Antonio knew that she wasn't his, by her own choice. It hurt the amount that he thought it would.

Jeanne and Lovina hung out sometimes, usually only when Lovina tagged along to go with her brother to his boyfriend disguised as his best friend's house because Nonno Vargas wasn't as progressive as anyone else was in the small town. She was always there hanging out with Lukas' twin brother Garfield. Lukas and Feliciano would go do whatever they did up in Lukas' room while the three of them would sit in the basement and talk. Well, Jeanne and Garfield would talk, Lovina just listened and sometimes interjected when she felt like it. Jeanne would always tell them, tell Garfield, what hot new date spot she and Antonio had been to that past weekend or how she went shopping for a new bra and sent him pictures from the dressing room or how he fingered her in the backseat of his truck when they went to the drive in movie a few weeks ago or how god his lips are just amazing when we kiss, could you ever imagine how he is _down there,_ all interspersed with stories of Garfield's latest hookups or Lovina excusing herself for a glass of water and standing in the kitchen for ten minutes because it hurt but in a way that she kind of always expected it to.

They both graduated, which was a surprise for those that thought they knew Lovina and a surprise for those that pretended to know Antonio. They hugged at graduation, long and hard so so meaningful that it took Feliciano five times to call Lovina over to take pictures with him and Alfred. They hugged at their shared graduation party, long and hard and a little bit less meaningful. It took a polite cough from Nonno Vargas and a nod to the rest of their guests that separated them. They hugged before Antonio drive off to college, less long but not less hard, but so meaningful because even though Jeanne was in the car behind him yelling at him to get in the car, we're going to leave, Antonio had the girl he loved in his arms and why would he let her go for something as stupid as college? Lovina pushed him away because he was a dumbass that wouldn't make it three days without calling her and asking her to talk to him because he missed her but he wasn't her dumbass which really made all the difference.

Lovina called Antonio three months into college and told him about how she had walked into her room and saw her roommate making out with Alfred and she knew that they weren't meant for each other but it was a hell of a lot never just, ya know, telling someone that it wasn't a good fit than having your girlfriend walk in on you sticking your whole entire tongue down someone's throat. Antonio was there in five hours. It was a seven hour drive.

That night, Antonio held Lovina even though his heart broke for her and for him. He texted Jeanne as Lovina slept, cried out and tired from tirades and threats and apologies from the roommate that were half felt and half meant. She didn't understand. She did, because everyone knew that the two were almost perfect for each other but she didn't. She did tell everyone at school that Alfred cheated on Lovina but she also said that Lovina cheated first. No one cared about Lovina, she was gone, but Alfred wasn't. He lost some friends that year. He made more.

Lovina woke up, saw Antonio, cried, fell back asleep.

Antonio woke up, saw Lovina cry, kissed her, fell back asleep.

Antonio went back to the small little town he grew up in for winter break from school. So did Lovina. They drove down together, kissed under the mistletoe, kissed on new year's eve, kissed when they parted for school again.

They both graduated which was a surprise to no one that knew either of them and no one that came to either of their respective graduations. They kissed at Antonio's graduation, long and deep and so so meaningful that Feliciano had to call five times for them to take a picture without it being so scandalous. They kissed at Lovina's graduation, not as long but just as deep and a little less meaningful because Nonno Vargas once again coughed and reminded them of the other family members. They kissed when Lovina proposed because she did so much work in the relationship, she might as well just do the work of proposing as well. It was long and deep and meaningful enough to mean something for the rest of their lives.

* * *

AN: yeah i deffo changed some names because i REFUSE to believe that someone would willingly call their child Ludwig or Gilbert because that's just cruel

Lukas is Germany bc i don't think i've ever seen a pairing that isn't gerita (not an invite to send me other pairings bc idc also this is a total throwaway pairing in this work)

Garfield is Prussia and yeah i know it's not much better than Gilbert in terms of being made fun of but at least this you can go by Gar or something that's not as terrible as Gil and it's in pop culture with Teen Titans and the cat and a president. i've never seen Gilbert ANYWHERE

also twins bc why the hell not it's my story lmao

Jeanne is France but i've seen that before also like, it looks French so it's p obvious also i didn't want to go the obvious Bella/Belgium route bc #done before so have some spance? frain? idk but here ya go

also yeah I KNOW that Rome was not super strict about sexuality (i literally study this for a degree so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i think i know what i'm talking about) but idk it's also a throwaway line so w/e tbh

if ya have any q's, hmu

also this is a very vague rewrite of another story i wrote actual AGES ago when i was in like eighth grade so be thankful because this could be SO much worse

stay feisty friends


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